Let us start at the beginning …

…Watching Kids…

How do you feel?

We watch our kids play, they run, jump, and scream, which is tiring. Our aged bodies and minds just wonder how they have all that energy, how do they keep up all day and all night? I wish I had that energy I would be able to achieve so much, all my housework, all my tedious business tasks, Heck I would even be able to get the impressive DIY stuff I have pinned to my Pinterest board.  

As we sip from our fourth cup of coffee, watching them paint, color, and create freely making a mess without a care of the work to clean it up, or the outcome with the perfect lines and realistic shading. A kid says that this is a dragon swallowing a rainbow, guess what that is? You guessed it, a freaking dragon swallowing a rainbow, NO DOUBTS ABOUT IT!

You see kids have a natural way of problem-solving, it is their natural gift of creation. When they have the need to express themselves, they do not think, well I must do the dishes, send out emails, and maybe when everybody is asleep, I can find the time. In the short term, they do not naturally think “I can’t do it “This is something that we have been conditioned to believe from outside sources. Our parents told us “No! do not do that, it is too messy, no! it is too dangerous. “Or just told to be seen and not heard.

This internalizes our self-talk, kids typically believe that their painting is going to be beautiful, eventually, they learn the mess is inevitable, and that the bigger the mess the bigger the masterpiece. They can choose “Well, I don’t want to do art it’s too messy” or they say the mess is worth it, they learn tips and tricks along the way to make the process less messy and perfect certain techniques to save time, and with each work of art starting from that abstract dragon to their most prized piece they gain confidence, courage, and validation.

They jump and run without fear of falling.

They sing loud no matter how blatantly tone def.

They find a way, to have a will…

… That is if you let kids be kids.

The Difference Between Doubts and Boundaries…

Doubts do not keep you safe, Boundaries do.

You do not let them run and jump because YOU are doubting their ability to stay safe.

You are forcing them to color everything the right color and in the lines because you doubt that it will be beautiful.

You do not sing because you doubt you are good.

It is so often that we as adults date doubt, we want to lose weight, but we doubt that we will enjoy working out and eating right, so we do not.

We want to raise our kids different, but we doubt they will learn respect if we let them voice their opinion, so you tell them things that make them doubt their ability to make choices for themselves/

Causing us to think things like…

“What I want to do/say is not important “

“How am I supposed to ever compete with “

“Why even try if I am just going to fail”

Dating doubt long term can cause serious side effects…

Like a toxic relationship where you are not allowed to speak your truth, you are not allowed to sing loudly or jump and skip freely.

They hold you back from even trying to reach your potential, these relationships can become your inner voice to yourself and when you get slapped down enough times by your own self-doubt it will project onto your kids and business.

Destroying the very things, you love the most…

Second

Choose Yourself

Set Boundaries, Not Doubts.

Set your goals based on your values. So first you must know what values yours are and which ones you have been taught. Most doubts were not yours, to begin with. Let the people, places, and things go.

Third

New Normal

Getting Comfortable in the Uncomfortable

You can learn a lot from carefree and confident children. That is one of many resources available to us when finding the compassion and grace to grow. If you have never been that carefree child… It’s never too late to learn and create.